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3.05.2008

Feature: Moving Into "His Place"

Have you ever found yourself wondering what your partner really thinks about the fact that you've moved into his place? I mean sure he's most likely thrilled to be able to see you and get some on a regular basis. And of course, now that you're here he couldn't imagine how his place ever managed to have been anything but clean. Not to mention, his constantly overfed stomach holds you as its new master for eternity. But all that aside, did you ever think about what he thought before you moved in? A few good male friends of mine broke it down into laymen terms and it seems that we women are a bit mistaken when we tell our girlfriends, "Oh, he's thrilled I moved in, he said it makes life so much easier!"

But quite the contrary. From the male perspective, I quickly became informed that the type of woman that moves into a guy's place after a few short months of knowing him is either about to be kicked out by her landlord or has a temporary loss of determination for her goals and is replacing that loss with momentary love. In fact it's said that most women who lacked the love and presence of a prominent male figure in during childhood will strive consciously or subconsciously to replace that absence in their adulthood. Hence, the quickness to commit to any man that shows them enough attention. However, the search is never ending, not because men come and go, but because once that initial attention and time  diminishes, or becomes altogether nonexistent, the woman feels a sense of abandonment and will more than likely run into to the arms of the next man that can re-fill that void.

It took me back a bit to hear my male friends speak with such passionate disgust about sharing a space with a "Stage 5 Clinger". I mean here I was thinking most men always dreamed of having that "temporary housewife." As our conversation progressed I discovered that some men are comfortable with a woman who takes on the housewife role, but only if it fits into her own personal life plans. But when a woman has her own place to live and goals and dreams that were active just a few days prior, yet places herself in a housewife position, it is due to two things: 1.) she has lost sight of her dreams or her determination has dwindled and 2.) her partner is a jerk that indirectly (or directly) reinforces her role as a "temporary housewife." As they both attempted to explain further I came to finally understand (ok, ok, semi-understand) what men really think about women who move in after a few short months of dating: "She must be desperately seeking the male love and attention she was deprived of as a child, and for a short-time only, I'll be here to provide it."

Personally, I'm not the type of woman that believes in living with my boyfriend, or any man for that matter before marriage, because of the practical and Christian standards I willingly hold myself to. Plus, if you have your own place, why pay rent in your apartment so you can live in someone else's place? Just be wise, what's good for the gander's not always good for the goose. With that said, women note this rule of thumb: always give yourself time to focus on your personal wholeness: physical health, spiritual balance, and emotional well-being. After all, no ring on your finger means he can kick you out anytime, and rock stars don't do homeless.


Images:
TVGuide.com
Hasani.com

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