Feature: Moving Into "His Place"

Have you ever found yourself wondering what your partner really thinks about the fact that you've moved into his place? I mean sure he's most likely thrilled to be able to see you and get some on a regular basis. And of course, now that you're here he couldn't imagine how his place ever managed to have been anything but clean. Not to mention, his constantly overfed stomach holds you as its new master for eternity. But all that aside, did you ever think about what he thought before you moved in? A few good male friends of mine broke it down into laymen terms and it seems that we women are a bit mistaken when we tell our girlfriends, "Oh, he's thrilled I moved in, he said it makes life so much easier!"

But quite the contrary. From the male perspective, I quickly became informed that the type of woman that moves into a guy's place after a few short months of knowing him is either about to be kicked out by her landlord or has a temporary loss of determination for her goals and is replacing that loss with momentary love. In fact it's said that most women who lacked the love and presence of a prominent male figure in during childhood will strive consciously or subconsciously to replace that absence in their adulthood. Hence, the quickness to commit to any man that shows them enough attention. However, the search is never ending, not because men come and go, but because once that initial attention and time  diminishes, or becomes altogether nonexistent, the woman feels a sense of abandonment and will more than likely run into to the arms of the next man that can re-fill that void.

It took me back a bit to hear my male friends speak with such passionate disgust about sharing a space with a "Stage 5 Clinger". I mean here I was thinking most men always dreamed of having that "temporary housewife." As our conversation progressed I discovered that some men are comfortable with a woman who takes on the housewife role, but only if it fits into her own personal life plans. But when a woman has her own place to live and goals and dreams that were active just a few days prior, yet places herself in a housewife position, it is due to two things: 1.) she has lost sight of her dreams or her determination has dwindled and 2.) her partner is a jerk that indirectly (or directly) reinforces her role as a "temporary housewife." As they both attempted to explain further I came to finally understand (ok, ok, semi-understand) what men really think about women who move in after a few short months of dating: "She must be desperately seeking the male love and attention she was deprived of as a child, and for a short-time only, I'll be here to provide it."

Personally, I'm not the type of woman that believes in living with my boyfriend, or any man for that matter before marriage, because of the practical and Christian standards I willingly hold myself to. Plus, if you have your own place, why pay rent in your apartment so you can live in someone else's place? Just be wise, what's good for the gander's not always good for the goose. With that said, women note this rule of thumb: always give yourself time to focus on your personal wholeness: physical health, spiritual balance, and emotional well-being. After all, no ring on your finger means he can kick you out anytime, and rock stars don't do homeless.


Images:
TVGuide.com
Hasani.com

Fashion Faux Pas: Leggings

In 2007 we all tried the virally contagious leggings trend. In 2008, lets try to not pair it with everything that has sleeves. Spunk up your favorite leggings with another crowd fav, "the booties." Maybe even try dressing it up with a strand of pearls, a nice tuxedo vest and long dress shirt. Masculine chic with an air or androgyny is heavily in this winter season, so why not. Our favorite budget-friendly spot, H&M, carries a great pair of leggings, tuxedo vest and poplin dress shirts, courtesy of Roberto Cavalli for H&M, all for under $100. Still not confident in your body type to do the leggings justice? Well a great pair of skinny jeans works just as well. So go on...get funky!

Live: From the Battlefield of the Democratic Presidential Campaign

"Disclaimer: I am currently a neutral, undecided voter. This is simply a statement of my observations and opinions."

As the Democratic Campaign Trail goes into "overtime and overload", the Battle of Words between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton becomes increasingly heightened and the Democratic citizens forget the War on Terrorism and focus on the "Trail of Tears Campaigner" and the "Senator for Change". The biggest issue that I currenlty have with the presidential campaign on the Democratic turf has nothing to do with race or gender but the pull that influential supporters of each candidate have on the democratic voter.

It's clear to see that this year holds the most promise for the possibility of breaking the long-standing "White Male President Syndrome" that America has been victim to for many decades past, hence making this the most interesting campaign year ever due to the diversity of the candidates. (I mean, its definitely a breath of fresh air versus the "Lesser of two evils" candidates last term....we see where that led to: George W.) But CNN, home of the '08 Presidential Campaign, has been following the polls closely and it seems that the interest that voters have for the diverse candidates and their respective messages doesn't translate in the votes. In my opinion, I wouldn't be surprised if we still ended up with another white male president, meaning that America's fear for difference and change would cause the Republicans to win the presidential seat anyway. And we all know that there's no diversity in their candidates.

Nevertheless, off my digression and back on track, I must say: again my problem is not with the race or gender of the democratic candidates but with their supporters. The two main supporters are Bill Clinton and Oprah Winfrey. Now their choices of who to back seem rather understandable, yet I can't help but wonder if the candidates differed a little would the supporter sway. In retrospect, some say that the Bill Clinton that America has grown to love would choose a candidate like Barack Obama any day, if it wasn't for the fact that his own wife was running. Whereas, some people suggest that if Obama were a white male even with the same views, Oprah would default to Hillary Clinton, the woman's woman. In my opinion, these statements could very well be true, but in reality we'll never know. All we know is that former president Bill Clinton supports his wife as the future 1st man. (As he should, she stood by him through the Monica dilemma.) The Clintons have the potential to make history almost 3 times over: Hillary as the 1st Female President, Bill as the 1st Man of the white house and the Clintons as the 1st Family to dominate the white house for a total of 3 Presidential Terms; now who wouldn't want that power, respect and recognition? On the other hand, we also know that Oprah Winfrey continues to reign as the most influential (not to mention wealthiest) women of our time, and coincidentally, she backs Barack Obama. What does this mean? This means that over 1/2 of the female population (no, this is not an exaggeration), young and old, regardless of sexual preference or political conscientiousness, will be swayed towards voting for Oprah's new right hand man. (Move over Stedman!)

At the end of the day, it is true that in the Presidential Campaign, your supporters and backers make your campaign more successful , hence "they help win votes," but lets continue to stay focused on the response of the candidates to "the issues" and not be distracted by their billionaire backers and "influential" supporters....vote for the candidate, that's who's running, that's who you're electing, that's who will be in office.